keep-calm-stay-healthy: recovery-ghost: Sometimes you make an argument that’s so solid and logical that you’re absolutely certain you got your point across, then someone replies to it with something so mindblowingly stupid that you have no idea how they managed to graduate from middle school.
Court house field trip
Judge: Do you have anything else to say?
Defendant: No your honor.
Judge: Alright, case dismissed.
Me: BRING IN THE DANCING LOBSTERS!!!
Class: Burst out laughing
When you're waiting for your favorite part of a... →
sodamnrelatable: Hold up! It’s coming…. Wait for it… NOW!
I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just...
Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
After watching a scary movie.
sodamnrelatable: My friends: “Shit, that was so funny when the bitch came out of the closet!” Me: ”Stfu guys, she’s coming for us.. she’s fucking coming”